Suffering and hard work is necessary to build character and resilience in youth.
True love
involves sacrifice.
And this
sacrifice is not just about you and what you’re willing to sacrifice.
It applies
to those you love too.
True love
for them means allowing them to suffer and sacrifice, it’s not continually
sacrificing yourself to save them. This only breeds entitlement.
True love is
giving the hard talks, putting consequences in place and expecting something in
return.
Entitlement does
not build resiliency or character. Hard work and pain does…
For a long
time now where I live the advice given to young people is to find what you love
and pursue that for a happy life…under the label of well-being and good mental
health we give the next generation everything they want, just as long as they’re
happy.
Now I’m not
saying we should be unreasonable, uncompassionate dictators, or that using our talents does not lead to feeling more fulfilled in life.
But I want
to ask, how many of our youth are lost without purpose and drive? How many
disconnect and sit facing a screen day in, day out, in a world of fantasy while
a parent urges and begs them to reconnect and give something a go? How many
rage at their caregiver when asked to contribute to their household and society? How many give-up when their ‘dream’ seems out of reach?
Thankfully
this is not all youth.
Thankfully there
are parents and caregivers still willing to put boundaries in place and push
their young people forward and make them do things they DO NOT ENJOY!
Life is
hard but it’s even harder when you have not developed resiliency.
Life will
knock you down – but it will knock your kids down too, so help them to be
prepared by not making everything so easy for them. Let them taste hard work
and success on their own.
Stop
enabling compliancy, laziness, and entitlement.
Let them
suffer and help them learn resiliency by pushing through.
Stop solving
every problem!
Rather start
with listening and helping them to brainstorm and problem solve themselves.
Stop
giving and providing to ensure there is no need – without need there’s no
hunger or motivation!
Rather
encourage from the side lines.
I’m not saying
cut them off, or kick them out – but there should be a middle ground for our
youth to transition into autonomous adulthood with resiliency and character.
Continually
fixating and trying to solve the problem will not help your child to mature and
overcome.
Continually
making excuses for their behaviour will not help your child to mature and
overcome.
Continually
demanding the world to change for your child will not help your child to mature
and overcome.
Everyday is
a new chance to hit reset and as I’ve heard many times in the past, “They will
thank you one day!”
Peace,
Melanie.
