Open & Shut Doors: Christian Discernment, Wisdom and Maturity.

Open & Shut Doors: Christian Discernment, Wisdom and Maturity.

Thankfully I’ve been a committed Christian now since 2005 which makes 18 years – it’s incredible even saying 18 years out loud, as in truth it’s gone by so incredibly fast, along with my children growing up.

Good years, challenging years and learning years.

I remember the early years like yesterday, where I would timidly reply one, two or three years, when people would ask me how long I had been a Christian. I remember my continual awe at our awesome God’s grace and forgiveness, and the long time it took for me to forgive myself for my past mistakes. I remember people being incredibly shocked I had become ‘one of those’. I remember wanting to share my new salvation story with others so desperately, so they could experience what I had too.

I remember vividly, the blissful period which followed, where so much healing, joy and peace were found. Getting to personally know Jesus as my saviour and friend – the feasting upon scripture and learning it for myself – becoming equipped.

Then the hard times came – not that there weren’t troubles before – but the end of my marriage to my children’s dad and what followed was one of the most difficult times of my life. Although I felt so low, abandoned and betrayed by my children’s dad – I knew The Lord was with me, helping me through. My faith, knowledge of scripture and personal relationship with Jesus saw me through.

I remember praying at lot during this period, for The Lord to please “open or shut the door” about many choices and decisions. It wasn’t as if I had never prayed this before but during that difficult period it became much more, as I felt so confused, alone and vulnerable. And, The Lord would answer so clearly, with doors often instantly slamming, with one remaining open. This would lead me to peaceful clarification. Even during times of loneliness, I still felt so blessed and protected.

Because this prayer was answered so much, over many years, I began to rely upon this – almost like a sign I suppose, although at the time I very much, did not view it as such. I would always ask The Lord to please show me the way with an open or closed door, and this went on for years…That was until a time in 2016 or 2017 when I prayed this request and chose to ignore other ‘red flag signs’. The door seemed open, so I stepped through when I really should have had better wisdom to have considered those ‘red flags’ more thoroughly. I had been a Christian by this time for over ten years. I knew scripture, and had obtained a theological degree, but I still had not fully matured in wisdom and discernment.

The door I chose to step through led me into a new period of great hurt, ill health, family disruption, and more grief. It took me quite a while to process everything that happened – including my own spiritual immaturity.

This past week however has been an incredibly interesting one to say the least, leading me to a new appreciation of open and shut doors…

It began when I received an incredibly difficult letter which brought me to tears, followed immediately by a separate, miraculous offer. I knew The Lord was confirming I was right on track with His plan for my life through these instances. I can’t go into details at this time but it was like the letter was a final door closing and the offer the new door opening – both of which I had not prayed, or asked for…

Then later this week I had a repeat encounter with a relatively new person which was somewhat confusing, and I found myself, without thinking, praying for a clear open or shut door from The Lord. You see, I wasn’t sure if this person was to be a supporting part of my approaching new chapter which seems to be unfolding, or not. What followed seemed to be a clear open door which was very exciting!

Through the excitement however I still felt unsure, as I did not have peace due to some possible early red flags – so even with an open door, I decided to gather more information. It took me a couple of days, over which those red flags began being confirmed – but as the door seemed quite open I kept digging until I found something so shocking it was beyond the early possible red flag signs. I instantly knew I would be a fool not to slam this door shut myself, as The Lord was showing me the truth.

As the shock passed, I felt relieved and understood, The Lord helped me to grow in our relationship together through this experience. I’ve learned practically, while I can pray for open and shut doors, He also wants to grow my wisdom and discernment. He wants me to mature, so I can shut doors confidently myself in faith, knowing He is always by my side and willing to show me the truth if I’m also willing to be patient and watchful – for how else will I grow?

When we are children (both literal and spiritual) we are very dependent upon others and therefore trusting. But good parents equip us for adulthood and help us to mature through teaching us to become wise in the ways of the world, so we can confidently pray and make our own decisions. Again this applies spiritually, as God is a good father who wants to mature us, so we can confidently pray and make our own decisions, to stay on track for His good plan for our lives, fully aware of the ways of the world.

I have learnt, maturity takes time – so if you make a mistake, pray about it, forgive yourself and most importantly learn from it. Study both scripture and psychology and always be patient and observant. Just as Jesus warned, “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves, therefore be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” Matthew 10:16. Therefore we are to remain gentle, friendly and kind, yet we are not to be fools and naïve like children, who often are oblivious to the world’s ways and fall into traps. While some open doors are definitely a part of our good futures, other open doors can become traps – yet when we learn from them, we can escape being stronger for the experience.

Peace, Melanie.